As a follow up to my last post, I’d like to share some thoughts on my “real” face. I’m so glad that I have the right tools to help me blend in. To the inventors of eyeliner, eye brow pencils and wigs, I humbly say thank you. As my friend Priscilla put it, “[It’s nice to] take a public break from cancer.” In no way … Continue reading a tale of two ladies
Hi. It’s me. I’ve started seven separate posts since my last one. I’m determined to get something out today. It’s so hard to write anything when I would really like to tell you everything. I’ve never been a writer, so this is particularly hard for me. I started to crawl out of the chemo hole a few days ago. This is what you need to know, … Continue reading backblogged
Having children is terrifying. Loving so deeply in ways you didn’t know possible feels vulnerable. Having the responsibility to shape and feed and shelter for decades is daunting. But, there’s another aspect of child-rearing that is scary: their unpredictability. Y’know, when they start talking. And say things like, “Mommy is that a man or a lady?” within earshot of the person in question. Or when … Continue reading let the children come to me
Uncle. I’m crying uncle. I’ve been in bed for most of three and a half days. No, I haven’t puked. But, I feel awful. Does that still count? My fingernails. I don’t know exactly what’s happening–nails growing under my nails?–but something is happening with my nails. My nail beds hurt when I pull the blanket over me, or when I grab a towel, or when I … Continue reading sadderday
Hi there! Time for a little check in. By way of reminder, I’m am doing chemo infusions every other week now. I am on Adriamycin and Cytoxan and I’ve completed two cycles of this regimen. I have an infusion this Wednesday and then another two weeks after that. And then I’ll be DONE with chemo! I will still have to have Herceptin infusions after radiation … Continue reading 14 down, 2 to go
So, after the first few rounds of chemo, I started wondering, Is it working? I wasn’t alone. My oncologist wanted to know. You wanted to know. My KIDS wanted to know. I think Brent might have been wondering too. About a month ago, Jillian asked me right before bed, “If this medicine doesn’t work, will they give you another medicine or will you die?” I wasn’t sure what … Continue reading halftime report
I think this is a question on people’s minds. The answer is probably disappointing. It’s kind of pleasant. Think about it: I am sitting in a recliner for hours while someone else takes care of me. Usually I’m with a good friend. There are no children asking me for food every five seconds. The waiting room I check in and wait for the nurse to … Continue reading so, what’s chemo really like?
Hey Friends. I’m on the road with family. Instead of getting my eighth infusion, I’m in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. I’ll resume chemo next Wednesday. I know that some of you would like an update. Here’s my head-to-toe assessment after seven chemos: My hair continues to go buh-bye. I still have a fuzzy head, but I don’t have a discernible hairline. It’s really thin. Chemo wreaks … Continue reading current side effects
This past Sunday I did the only brave thing I’ve done since the cancer diagnosis. I went to church bald. Or, like nearly bald. Whatever this mangey, salt and pepper thing I’m sporting is, I kinda hate it. But, none of the hat or scarf options looked right with my dress or my face, so I just went “as-is”. It was my turn to make … Continue reading take me to church
Thursday was Jillian’s birthday. She’s eight now. This was the first of four kid birthdays that will happen while I’m doing chemotherapy. I wanted to kick the day off right, so I headed to Baker’s Wife to get treats. Miles is always up early, so he joined me. I got each child a cinnamon roll. They are enormous (the rolls, not the children). Seeing as how I have … Continue reading losing it
because lemons happened 